[ because future posts may be critical of operations and management, and such expression is expressly forbidden by the employee handbook, my employer shall hereafter be referred to as ****. ]


day two done. brutalized. muscles sore, fingers bloody. workgloves necessary for day three.

**** is known for having the fastest and most accurate ringers in town. (ringers are register operators.) i can see the t-shirt: 'badass ringers' - ****barcrawl '08.

shorthanded employees, i was thrown in to ringin' on day one. i feel i need to justify myself to the store managers, other employees and customers. 'whynhell that district manager hire a CeLLIst to ring?', i know they shriek when i'm safely out of earshot. 'that a cashier or a koala?'

the worst are the voids which keep mysteriously popping up at my register, each one requiring manager key unlock. these give waiting customers in the lines ample opportunity to heckle; one of the more disturbing catcalls i heard twice today: 'when yall say the next **** hiring fair at??'

the registers keep a detailed metric of all ringer stats. my ring-per-minute average on day two was 23. the best employee in the store averages in the mid 60s. this is lightning fast.

but it's cool. speed is the only real demand, and that will quickly come. my co-workers are a motely crew, almost exclusively women. anabel is consistently exasperated with me - i'm not sure if she can really be serious. during my first 10 minutes on the floor she led me around the store and picked up all the produce items in turn, telling me the unique numerical code associated with each. we're talking about a hundred discrete item/code pairs. then she stood behind me back at the register, and when for example a head of lettuce would roll down the belt i'd ask her what the code was and she'd get pissed. 'um, i just told you.' very weird.

i also work with a violist/art major who just graduated.

the store security guard 'Tank' is a charismatic and voluble presence, greeting everyone by name, and is so capable in his own duty that he's able to fill in for store employees and even train the new guy.

from Tank i've already gained a few load-lightening shortcuts (he says he's been observing employees for 10 years and learned all the tricks) as well as picked up some native chicago-speak. like: 'you ain't finna scrape right?' translation: 'you ain't fixing to fight me are you?'

tomorrow **** again at noon.

zzz